Taking Care of Others - Gay or Straight?

I have to admit that I am uniquely qualified to write this blog on this particular topic. You see I am not gay but pretty much everyone thinks that I am. I get all the prejudice and none of the pleasure. Anyone who knows me would know that if I were gay there would not be a closet big enough for me to hide in, as that is just not my way. This is not to say that I have been all that lucky in the “finding a man” department but, as far as I know, that same thing can be said by many heterosexual women. I am living with my best friend and soul mate who happens to be a woman but much like Gayle and Oprah, that does not define my sexual preference.

We have this weird idea in this country that marriage and parenting is defined a certain way. Oh, I know…I know…but the bible says. Well, folks, the bible says a lot of mean and terrible things about what you should do to philandering men and we obviously don’t care about that, now do we Governor Terminator or Mr. “IMF”. Wonder what the bible would say about Charlie Sheen. Hmmm

Well here’s just one story that begs telling and then trying to somehow make it sound different than it is. I know several gay couples, men and women. (By the way, you all do, you just might not know it or don’t care to admit it.) One lesbian couple lives in a major city, both women hold very good jobs and wanted to adopt a teenage child a while back but it did not work out. Had nothing to do with their sexual preference, just to the movement of life. One of the gals brother, quite “straight” and his “very straight” but crazy wife have divorced. The “husband” and “dad” is going to move to Alaska to live with his new girlfriend and her two kids. The “mom” started dating some guy online and got pregnant (she is well over 40 by the way) and told her kids just as soon as she found out and was “surprised” that they were not thrilled. Her 13 year old is having some real problems with all this. (Hey, wouldn’t anyone). The two gay aunts have opened up their home, their gay but very stable home, to this kid.

Now, close your bible for a moment. Sit there, in the silence of your soul, and ask yourself the question, “If you were God, which set of “parents” would you choose for this kid.” You don’t have to tell your neighbors or your family what you said in the silence of your soul. But you can’t, with any kind of love in your heart or sanity in your head, say “Gee, I would pick the dad who throws away his son for his girlfriend’s kids or mom who can’t understand that keeping her legs together and keeping her family together might both be important.”

I so applaud these two women. They stepped up when this kids own parents didn’t know how or didn’t want to or whatever. But they did it out of the best and purest motivation. Out of love and selflessness. That has to be it. Imagine taking in a 13 year old boy (remember hormones) who has “issues” to begin with. It’s got to be love.

Damn. The fact that I’m supporting these two gay ladies is just another reason that people can use to convince themselves that I’m gay. You know what??? Whatever??? I will always be for what makes sense and what brings the most light. Gay used to be a word that meant happy and carefree. So go ahead call me gay (my grandmother's nick name was Gay before the most recent conotation because her grandson could not say grandma) And, oh, if you know any good-looking, wealthy guys who want to date a stage 4 lung cancer patient, be sure to let me know.

Royal Wedding vs. Royal Grump

I have to admit, I was not one who was waiting breathlessly for the Royal Wedding.  However, as life would have it, I woke up on Friday at 3:30 am and thought, “What the hell? Why not turn it on?”  And….then…I was hooked.  The beauty, the pageantry, and, yes, the fairy tale…it was awesome!  And it really did look – from what looks can tell you – that William and Kate really do love one another and the beauty of their love did shine through.   The dress was amazing and those hats!!??!!  I DVR’d the event and must admit to watching the wedding and the kiss more than once.  I loved the sermon from the Dean of Westminster Abbey which included the prayer that was composed by the Royal Couple.  I also noticed, with great joy, that Kate did not vow to obey.  Since I don’t believe anyone should obey anything but their best spirit, it was perfect as far as I was concerned.

The next morning, I was reading USA Today and happened upon an interview with Dan Rather in which he expressed his anger over all the time and resources that were spent on The Wedding.  How could the news agencies, with all the troubles in the world, give so much time to The Wedding.  Well, Mr. Rather, you seem to have joined the ranks  of that cantankerous group of curmudgeons knows as “Grumpy Old Men” since you have retired. 

We are all very aware of the awful things in the world.  We have 365 days, 24/7 of the problems we face and we can find it on hundreds of channels, websites, blogs and tweets.  From my perspective, there is good reason to take a “depression and hate holiday”, and for one day watch and be a part of something that so obviously symbolizes love.  Sure it also symbolizes a lifestyle that none of us will ever know, but that we can all—for just a moment—take pleasure in pretending.

As I sit in my living room, still bald from radiation, it was wonderful to see Kate’s beauty and imagine what it was like to be her…to have the future king look into my eyes with love, admiration and respect and take me as his bride.  It was fun to see the amazing cars and carriages and horses and imagine that I was giving that royal wave to all my “well wishers”.  In other words, is was nice to escape for one day into love, peace, grandeur, ceremony and pageantry.

Besides, the next day, it all came rushing back.  Life doesn’t let us pretend for long.  The killing, death and destruction were waiting to rush back like the tsunami’s wall of water and ruin our communal psyche once again.  My MRI awaits me tomorrow to tell me if I have more months of life or if the tumors have returned to wreak havoc on an already damaged brain.  So Mister Rather, we are back focusing on the misery you seem to feel is so important for all of us to dwell on.

But I have learned that you get what you think about - at least in the emotional sense.  I have incredible prosperity in my life which does not look like jewels and palaces but sustains me with love every day.  I have friends and family who love me with every bit of the intensity that I saw in the eyes of the Royal Couple. I have pageantry, as 5 days a week we open up our little business that attracts some of the most amazing people in the region and they drive their carriages right up to the front door. 

I do understand that part of Mr. Rather’s comments reflect the lament that many of his peers and fellow workers are losing their jobs in the traditional media.  His belief seems to be that it is because we waste valuable assets to cover frivolity.  It just may be that if we covered more good news, more life sustaining events, that people would tune back in.  2 billion people around the world tuned in on Friday – from Afghanistan to Africa, from all of Europe to Euclid, Ohio.  The people have voted, Mr. Rather.  Love wins!!