Great Idea - Cash Mob

We are very proud to share that we, Barb and myself, have been recognized as women entrepreneurs who have “Realized Their Dreams” for our work to create and nurture Carriage House Bakery and More.  We celebrated our five year anniversary on October 24, 2011 which, “they” say, is the true mark of a successful food business.  I guess this is because over 90% close within the first year.  Guess the statisticians believe that five is some kind of magic number... more than one and under 10.

As much as I hate to say it, given the recognition and all, Carriage House wasn’t our dream... at least for the reasons you might suspect.  Most people ask me when I discovered my passion for baking.  I always say the same thing.  Baking is not my passion. Teaching is my passion.  Baking is something that I do to make the business run which, in turn, gives me a place to live.

Not too romantic, is it?  But I bet if you ask most entrepreneurs and, if they will answer you honestly, they will tell you that their business may have started as a dream but it has become a way to keep their kids in school, pay the mortgage, and take vacations - although fewer than their “employed” friends.  Sure, there is still the spark that you feel every once in a while when you walk in the door which gives you great pride to say this place is “mine” and people come here because we treat them well and give them a great product.  But then the day begins and you realize that you work for your employees, your vendors, your customers, and only sometimes, for yourself.  

In many ways, it seems like the recognition we are getting is simply because we have survived.  Carriage House survived road construction, a poor choice in location, moving and people thinking that we are a dog bakery with maddening frequency.   We survived one of the owners having to go get a job outside the business to fund the shortfall; it survived one of the owners being diagnosed with breast cancer and lung cancer and not being able to work anymore; it survived good friends and investors needing to volunteer just so that we could get by.  But we did survive and we are VERY proud of that fact.


In our five years of business, we have developed a VERY LOYAL customer base...people who come in weekly, bi-weekly and monthly to say "hello" and to support our store.  We've seen babies born, children grow up, couples get married, prayed people through illnesses and death.  Our customers come for great bakery, great service and the personal attention that we give each and every one.  To these people, we say a resounding "THANK YOU" as it is because of your support and our hard work that we have survived.

What I really appreciate, not instead of but in addition to, the recognition is the idea that Andrew Samtoy, member of Cleveland Bridge Builders, came up with - “Cash Mobs.”  Unlike flash mobs that started out so positive and turned negative in a short time, Cash Mobs are designed to create commerce for small locally owned businesses like ours.  His idea was, “what if 65 people showed up to a local business with $20 each to spend.  What kind of impact would that have.”  They target a store that is locally owned, has products for men and women, and it must give back to the community in some way.  Hey, that’s us!!

You know, probably 5 times a month a person walks in our store who has never been in before asking for a donation for this or that.  They are all good causes.  We give as we can and we give to those who frequent our store for more than just the charity call to give them money.  What Mr. Samtoy is saying is that instead of asking for something, Bridge Builders will contribute to the bottom line of these small locally owned businesses.  Andrew, you are my hero!!

You know, the federal, state and local government show very little concern for the truly small businesses that line their streets.  But we are what makes this locale different from other places.  Folks don’t travel from North Olmsted to shop at Avon’s WalMart or Penney’s or Lowes.  They come to go to places like Carriage House, Jameson’s Antiques, Jelly Bean, Details and Littlest Details, Strip, Nemo’s, Helen and Kal’s.  It is these folks that make Avon unique and a destination different than some others.  Rather than asking for a donation, please think of shopping at these and other locally owned stores to keep up the character and commerce.

One thing that is very hard for an entrepreneur to do is to ask for help.  These times are different.  We’re asking!  

Because I Am An American

I wrote this poem two days after the towers fell.  It is still as true today as it was that day.

Because I Am An American...

Because I Am An American...  I first listened, and then watched, my world change as images of fireballs, cascading buildings and innocent human carnage became forever etched into my mind.

Because I Am An American... I sat riveted in front of the television for hours as each piece of information assaulted my sense of peace and security; not believing that this could happen here but knowing that it did.

Because I Am An American... I awoke the next day hoping that it was all some kind of horrible nightmare but faced with the headlines that shouted otherwise.

Because I Am An American...  I've sobbed and wept with hope, grief, anger and rage as each story appears of personal heroism, unspeakable loss, and senseless death.

Because I am An American...  I've heeded the call to give blood, donate a day's wages and pray.

Because I am An American...  I will use my freedom as a consumer to boycott those few gas stations and businesses who choose to gouge their brothers and sisters at a time of our greatest national crisis.

Because I Am An American...  I will support my government in their response to this horrible crime, knowing that they will not wait one more minute that they have to to bring these cowards to justice.

Because I Am An American...   I refuse to blindly retaliate against my innocent fellow Americans simply because of the color of their skin, their place of birth or their religious beliefs.

Because I Am An American...  I will take all the emotion - the fear, the sadness, the grief and the rage - and I will focus it on going back to work and restarting my life because I know that is how we win.

And... we will win.  I am more resilient, more courageous, more ingenious, more faithful, more compassionate, more human that "they" will ever be because... I AM AN AMERICAN.

9/13/01
Liz Adamson

Journey:One Woman's Story of Thriving With Cancer

Most of you know that I have been dealing with cancer for the past 18 months.  Since stastistically, I'm not supposed to be here, I am sure that I still have a purpose left to fulfill.  I believe that it has much to do with sharing some important lessons I have learned about thriving - not just surviving - with cancer.  You see I believe that being a victim of cancer is a matter of body, being a survivor is a matter of the mind and thriving is a matter of the spirit. 

Over the past several months I have written a one woman play/presentation that mixes my story with that of others that I have met along the way and combines humor, brutal honesty and optimism based in reality to get a person thinking differently about your experience with cancer whether you are the person who has it or love someone who does.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month.  It would be a great time to schedule this presentation for your church, community or service group.  The presentation itself is 45 minutes long needs some typical presentation equipment and a podium.   Send me an email regarding your interest at lizadamson74@gmail.com.  I already have scheduled a couple so don't delay. 

As I said, this is what I believe I'm supposed to do with this experience.  Thank you in advance for helping me make my dreams come true.

Liz

Now That's a Hero

I love golf.  It might have something to do with the fact that I started playing when I was four and got pretty good at it.  When I was playing a lot I had a 4 handicap at a time when most women did not play that well.  I won the club championship when I was in my teens at Cherry Hills Country Club in Denver, Colorado.  I played tournament golf as a junior golfer and was second in the state.  I went out for the men’s golf team at the University of Notre Dame in 1975, not because I was into breaking the ranks of the men, but because there was no women’s golf team.  I came in third but later found there was no place in the budget for a woman to travel with the team so… Anyway, most of my experiences with the game were positive and I’ve played golf ever since.

I love the fact that you are outside for at least four hours, sometimes five if we get behind a group of men who believe that they are playing for the US Open at Bob-o-Link.  (Did you know statically women play faster then men.  We know we are not all that good.  You think you are and will search for a ball like it was your last.)  I love the fact that for the time you are out there, it is hard to think of anything else.  I love the fact that it is an individual sport that depends on your skill AND your psyche to succeed.  And I love the fact that you really get to know people on a golf course.  That is why so much business is done there.  You find the guy who is always so level headed at the conference table throws his clubs in the lake when he misses his approach.  You’ll see the folks who play “winter rules” well into the summer and well into the rough.  You can tell a lot about a person on a golf course.

That is why I love Rory McIlroy.  But my love affair started at the Masters in April when he blew his four shot lead and totally fell apart.  He, as far as I was concerned, took it like a professional not like the primadonnas that we so often see today.  He did not blame an injury, the pace of play, he just knew that the game beat him that day and he would be back to play again.

And play he did.  His game at the US Open was almost flawless.  He was able to keep his game perfect and his head on straight for the entire tournament and broke all kinds of records to show for it.  The same sportscasters (Johnny Miller) who said that the Masters would be a “career breaker” was now saying that he always knew Rory would come back, that his swing was so perfect. 

Rory is my new hero.  Not just because he won but because he lost huge AND won huge and could handle both.  That is the lesson of golf.  It’s just you and the game and you will have huge losses and huge successes and the total of a person is how you deal with both.   It is hard to believe that he will be corrupted by fame and fortune as we have seen so often before.  He seems to know that golf really is a game that can represent life but is not life.  He went to Haiti just before the Open to get his head straight on what was really important in life while his competitors were at the course concentrating on the game.  THAT is the measure of a hero.  He lives what is important not just gives it lip service.  Thanks, Rory.  I want your game but since I know I can’t have that, I think I will emulate the way you live and I will truly get the better part.

Taking Care of Others - Gay or Straight?

I have to admit that I am uniquely qualified to write this blog on this particular topic. You see I am not gay but pretty much everyone thinks that I am. I get all the prejudice and none of the pleasure. Anyone who knows me would know that if I were gay there would not be a closet big enough for me to hide in, as that is just not my way. This is not to say that I have been all that lucky in the “finding a man” department but, as far as I know, that same thing can be said by many heterosexual women. I am living with my best friend and soul mate who happens to be a woman but much like Gayle and Oprah, that does not define my sexual preference.

We have this weird idea in this country that marriage and parenting is defined a certain way. Oh, I know…I know…but the bible says. Well, folks, the bible says a lot of mean and terrible things about what you should do to philandering men and we obviously don’t care about that, now do we Governor Terminator or Mr. “IMF”. Wonder what the bible would say about Charlie Sheen. Hmmm

Well here’s just one story that begs telling and then trying to somehow make it sound different than it is. I know several gay couples, men and women. (By the way, you all do, you just might not know it or don’t care to admit it.) One lesbian couple lives in a major city, both women hold very good jobs and wanted to adopt a teenage child a while back but it did not work out. Had nothing to do with their sexual preference, just to the movement of life. One of the gals brother, quite “straight” and his “very straight” but crazy wife have divorced. The “husband” and “dad” is going to move to Alaska to live with his new girlfriend and her two kids. The “mom” started dating some guy online and got pregnant (she is well over 40 by the way) and told her kids just as soon as she found out and was “surprised” that they were not thrilled. Her 13 year old is having some real problems with all this. (Hey, wouldn’t anyone). The two gay aunts have opened up their home, their gay but very stable home, to this kid.

Now, close your bible for a moment. Sit there, in the silence of your soul, and ask yourself the question, “If you were God, which set of “parents” would you choose for this kid.” You don’t have to tell your neighbors or your family what you said in the silence of your soul. But you can’t, with any kind of love in your heart or sanity in your head, say “Gee, I would pick the dad who throws away his son for his girlfriend’s kids or mom who can’t understand that keeping her legs together and keeping her family together might both be important.”

I so applaud these two women. They stepped up when this kids own parents didn’t know how or didn’t want to or whatever. But they did it out of the best and purest motivation. Out of love and selflessness. That has to be it. Imagine taking in a 13 year old boy (remember hormones) who has “issues” to begin with. It’s got to be love.

Damn. The fact that I’m supporting these two gay ladies is just another reason that people can use to convince themselves that I’m gay. You know what??? Whatever??? I will always be for what makes sense and what brings the most light. Gay used to be a word that meant happy and carefree. So go ahead call me gay (my grandmother's nick name was Gay before the most recent conotation because her grandson could not say grandma) And, oh, if you know any good-looking, wealthy guys who want to date a stage 4 lung cancer patient, be sure to let me know.

Royal Wedding vs. Royal Grump

I have to admit, I was not one who was waiting breathlessly for the Royal Wedding.  However, as life would have it, I woke up on Friday at 3:30 am and thought, “What the hell? Why not turn it on?”  And….then…I was hooked.  The beauty, the pageantry, and, yes, the fairy tale…it was awesome!  And it really did look – from what looks can tell you – that William and Kate really do love one another and the beauty of their love did shine through.   The dress was amazing and those hats!!??!!  I DVR’d the event and must admit to watching the wedding and the kiss more than once.  I loved the sermon from the Dean of Westminster Abbey which included the prayer that was composed by the Royal Couple.  I also noticed, with great joy, that Kate did not vow to obey.  Since I don’t believe anyone should obey anything but their best spirit, it was perfect as far as I was concerned.

The next morning, I was reading USA Today and happened upon an interview with Dan Rather in which he expressed his anger over all the time and resources that were spent on The Wedding.  How could the news agencies, with all the troubles in the world, give so much time to The Wedding.  Well, Mr. Rather, you seem to have joined the ranks  of that cantankerous group of curmudgeons knows as “Grumpy Old Men” since you have retired. 

We are all very aware of the awful things in the world.  We have 365 days, 24/7 of the problems we face and we can find it on hundreds of channels, websites, blogs and tweets.  From my perspective, there is good reason to take a “depression and hate holiday”, and for one day watch and be a part of something that so obviously symbolizes love.  Sure it also symbolizes a lifestyle that none of us will ever know, but that we can all—for just a moment—take pleasure in pretending.

As I sit in my living room, still bald from radiation, it was wonderful to see Kate’s beauty and imagine what it was like to be her…to have the future king look into my eyes with love, admiration and respect and take me as his bride.  It was fun to see the amazing cars and carriages and horses and imagine that I was giving that royal wave to all my “well wishers”.  In other words, is was nice to escape for one day into love, peace, grandeur, ceremony and pageantry.

Besides, the next day, it all came rushing back.  Life doesn’t let us pretend for long.  The killing, death and destruction were waiting to rush back like the tsunami’s wall of water and ruin our communal psyche once again.  My MRI awaits me tomorrow to tell me if I have more months of life or if the tumors have returned to wreak havoc on an already damaged brain.  So Mister Rather, we are back focusing on the misery you seem to feel is so important for all of us to dwell on.

But I have learned that you get what you think about - at least in the emotional sense.  I have incredible prosperity in my life which does not look like jewels and palaces but sustains me with love every day.  I have friends and family who love me with every bit of the intensity that I saw in the eyes of the Royal Couple. I have pageantry, as 5 days a week we open up our little business that attracts some of the most amazing people in the region and they drive their carriages right up to the front door. 

I do understand that part of Mr. Rather’s comments reflect the lament that many of his peers and fellow workers are losing their jobs in the traditional media.  His belief seems to be that it is because we waste valuable assets to cover frivolity.  It just may be that if we covered more good news, more life sustaining events, that people would tune back in.  2 billion people around the world tuned in on Friday – from Afghanistan to Africa, from all of Europe to Euclid, Ohio.  The people have voted, Mr. Rather.  Love wins!!  

Happy Easter - Happy Life

Easter – Spring, Transformation and Miracles
I’ve been having a lot of fun lately doing research on “Easter”. I’ve shared in this blog before that I love etymology – finding out what the root meaning is of words. Often this will also take you to a better understanding of rituals and holidays and add to the richness of the celebration.

For example, the word “Easter” comes from a European Goddess of the dawn called Estra by the Anglo-Saxons and Ostara by other European peoples. Her name means “movement toward the rising sun”. One part of the lore surrounding this goddess is that during the festival of Easter, she entertained the children by performing a trick that changed her pet bird into a rabbit and the rabbit then laid colored eggs which she gave to the children. This practice of hiding Easter eggs for children pre-dates the Christian era by at least 2000 years but remains today an important part of the holiday.

Understanding the pagan root of the word also helps us understand why Easter is a different Sunday each year. Most of us are aware that the date we celebrate Easter moves every year, but not everyone is aware of the reason for this fluid timing. Easter is always the first Sunday after the first vernal equinox’s full moon – as in the early pagan rituals of spring. The vernal equinox signifies the astronomical arrival of spring and was the time for all people – not just Christians – to celebrate the rebirth and renewal as nature resurrects itself from the death it suffered in winter. Easter was originally a pagan festival co-opted by Christian missionaries starting in the second century after the death of Christ. It worked out great because it was close to the time of Passover, which it had to be given that the passion of Jesus began with the celebration of Passover with his friends.

But more important than the history of the holiday is the spirit of Easter. If you grew up in any Christian church you know that “Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins and that he rose from the dead to break the bonds of death.” That’s what he did, but what are we supposed to do? The New Testament is “transformative” because in every Jesus event – the parables, the miracles, the sayings – we are supposed to learn something and change our lives today. So again, the message of Easter is not about what Jesus did, but about what WE are supposed to do BECAUSE of what he did.

Sometimes, when I pray and I spend the time to listen, I often hear an answer. Not so much as words but as a feeling. This year, as I was meditating on the passion and resurrection, the message that I heard in response was “get over it”. It was as if he was saying to me, “Hey, that happened 2000 years ago. Can we move on now?” If his dying, death and resurrection has any meaning it has to be in the NOW otherwise it was worthless. He didn’t die and rise so we could be just the same as we were before. That event then is meant to transform us now.

The reality is that there are things that I need to let die in my life so that there is room for new life – spring, resurrection. I need to let my prejudices die to make room for the new life of inclusiveness and love. I need to let my American idea of success die if I want to live the fact that “it is the life in the years and not the years in a life that is important.” I have to live in the fact that I am “a spiritual being living a physical life rather than a physical being living a spiritual life.” Otherwise my impending death is something to be feared not something to be accepted as part of the cycle of nature. Jesus wasn’t sent to die on the cross. He was sent to live and the way he lived led to the cross. I am supposed to live that radical of a life speaking my truth not just what is popular.

I wish you an Easter and spring filled with transformation, life and grace. I wish you a life lived in the now. Happy life!!

Wisdom of a Teenager

Many years ago, I owned a company called Hope Through Education which had a division called Growing Peace. We created prevention programs for alcohol and drugs as well as prevention of violence.

I will never forget a young girl – high school age – who was at one of my lectures and raised her hand to say, “You adults always talk about the fact that we (meaning her peers) are the future. But you always seem to forget that you (adults) are our present. And… you are not doing such a good job with it.” She was right in the mid ‘80’s and the same could be said for today.

When we say, with a smug or pompous tone, “what is this world coming to?” we try to convince ourselves that if “those” people would just behave, then “ we” would be fine. Those people are defined in various ways depending on your point of view. They could be Democrat, Republican, or Tea Party…they could be Catholic, Muslim or Fundamentalist …they could be Black, White, Latino, Native American… they could be anything but what we are.

Do we really want our children to grow up to be like the preacher in Florida who doesn’t care if he creates an international incident because he had the right to burn the Koran? Would you be proud of your son if he began to emulate Charlie Sheen? How about if your daughter turned out like Paris Hilton?

Here’s the news hot off the press! If we want our children to be different, then as Gandhi said “we will have to be the change that we want to see in the world.” We will have to listen when we would rather rant, we will have to be kind to those we would rather scream at. We will have to be the example of level headedness the next time we find ourselves in a volatile situation. And we will have to do this where we are… like the soccer fields (there is nothing as ugly as a pissed soccer parent) and grocery check-out lines (so they have 11 items instead of 10) or turning off the hate-speak that is currently on in your living room.

I will never forget that young woman. I hope she has gone on to be a great example to her family and community. I know that that day, she was what everyone in that room needed to hear. Maybe she is still what we all need to hear. How are we doing at creating the present we want for our children’s future?

The God That I Know

Often in the past year, friends and acquaintances have asked me about my faith and religion due to how they perceive I am handling my diagnosis of cancer.  Many don’t like the answer.  For example, when I go to the hospital and they ask “religion” I say multi-denominational and usually they look at me for a moment and mark the “none” box on their form because they don’t know what to do.  It makes me laugh inwardly as I know the other alternative – marking all the boxes - would probably cause pastoral care chaos.  So I guess it is just as well.

So here’s the scoop.

I was raised Catholic during the time of change in the Catholic Church after Vatican II.  The nuns and priests that taught and ran my grade school were very traditional and conservative and the nuns that ran and taught in my high school were about as liberal as you could find at that time.

Although this made for a somewhat religiously schizophrenic young woman, it was also the foundation upon which I built a rock solid faith that has lasted me through the years and has been the source of peace and joy in the midst of some very trying times.  What it allowed me to do - actually encouraged me to do - was to question my faith and be sure that it was built on rock and not on sand.  However, it also put me in direct conflict with the church within which I was raised.

I also had the opportunity to study theology under both the Holy Cross priests and brothers as well as under the Jesuits.  At that time, they were some of the most progressive in the church.  As a result, I had the privilege of teaching young high school women about their faith.  And... I was able to do so by asking them to question the rhetoric, shake up what they had just taken on face value and make sure that it was strong enough to hold them for life.  For most of these girls, it was the last "religious education" they would receive and I felt a real responsibility to make sure they were strong in faith when they graduated.  For the most part, I think we succeeded.  As I have come across the path of many of my former students through the years, they share with me that their faith in God is still strong.  Some continue to express it in the Catholic church and others do not.  But, as we agreed all those years ago, your faith is in God not in a church.  If the church helps you deepen your relationship to God, stay, if not go.  It is just that simple.  Obviously, I would not be able to teach in a Catholic High School today.  In fact, you now have to sign a document that would disallow encouraging students to question any tenet of the church.  And we call others "fundamentalists".  Hmmmm.

Anyway, back to the God that I know.

1)  It's about the living, not about the dying.  I believe that what was important about Jesus was his life, not his death.  If he hadn't lived the life he did then who would have cared about the death he endured.  But that fact seems lost in many churches.  How can I say that?  The time in the liturgical calendar that talks about and relates the life of Jesus is called "ordinary time" while the death of Jesus is called the "passion".  In fact, it was the passionate life that Jesus led that was so countercultural that it led to his death.  What we are supposed to believe is that the Father sent his son to "die on the cross".  I believe that he sends his sons and his daughters to live passionately following the lead and model of Jesus and that part of life is death.  Because of this, even if Jesus had died of old age he would have saved us because he showed us how to live and THAT is the point.

2)  The hardships of life are not tests that are sent by God.  They are simply part of life.  Jesus told us this in Luke,  "What father among you would give his son a snake if he asks for a fish, or hand him a scorpion if he asks for an egg?  If you, with all your sins, know how to give your children good things, how much more will the heavenly Father give to those who ask him.".  Life is tough sometimes because that is the nature of life.  When I was diagnosed with cancer, well meaning folks would say, "God won't give you anything that you can't handle".  The thing that got me through cancer was my belief that rather than giving me cancer as some sort of masochistic divine test, cancer became an opportunity for me to look to the God within for the strength and courage I needed to endure whatever came.  How could I believe in a loving God who would do such a thing to me.  Life doesn't happen to me, it happens for me.  My God was right there by my side as I went through each treatment and he cried when I did.  I believe that when Jesus "let out a scream" on the cross, the Father did as well, not because we had killed his son but because we had done this to one of our own.  It is the same Father that cried out in the death of millions of Jews, thousands of Cambodians, hundreds of thousands of slaves and almost three thousand Americans in two tall buildings in New York.  All the time crying out , "How can you do that to one of your own?"

3)  We all have spiritual experiences.  Scientists have found that when a person has a spiritual experience it is experienced in a particular part of the brain – whether you are Catholic, Buddist, Muslim or whatever – the circuits that fire are the exact same ones in every person.  Then this spiritual experience is then filtered through your life experience.  So if you were born into a Lutheran family, that spiritual experience would look and feel Lutheran.  If you were born into a Muslim family, your experience would look and feel Muslim.  It has nothing to do with, the “one true religion” but everything to do with where you were born.  In other words, if I were to have been born in Iraq, the likelihood that my spiritual experience would be translated in my life as Muslim faith is about 100%.  It would be highly unlikely that I would spontaneously convert those experiences into a Christian tradition because that is not my experience.  As I write this, it seems so logical.  But many millennia of wars have been fought over this exact thing.  We all have the same God called by different names.  And…if you take the time to read the spiritual texts of the various religions – not read what someone says about the texts - but really read the Koran, or the Talmud or the New Testament, you would know for sure that our biggest problems do not come from differences in religion but in how small minded people read some of those texts.  It wasn’t the Catholic saints who were responsible for the Crusades and it wasn’t good Muslims who were responsible for the Trade Center.  To believe differently makes no logical sense.

I’ve not shared any of this to be controversial.  Rather, my belief is that the more we courageously share we believe, not with hate but with love, the more likely we will be to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem in our world.  

My Gratitude to the People of Japan

Over the past several weeks we have all seen the devastation that the earthquake and subsequent tsunami has wrought on the country of Japan.  As much as I would like to send financial help, I can’t.  Certainly I can lift these people up in prayer but there must be more.  I believe that that “more” is to learn the lessons that the Japanese people are so eloquently teaching by their actions.

According to the news reports, the majority of the country of Japan is Buddhist but I have never seen a group of people who so literally are living the New Testament dictum to “love one another as I have loved you”.  For example, since the beginning of this crisis, you have not seen the looting that you would have seen – have seen – in other countries when a catastrophe like this hits.  Instead they believe, and live, the truth that we are all one and that what we do to one we do to all.  Instead of the stealing from one another that you often see, in Japan people are doing all they can to serve one another out of their utter poverty.  I saw the story of a man who had lost his home and family but went to work in his noodle shop to serve other survivors for free so they wouldn’t starve. 

I have been amazed and impressed with CEO’s and Japanese politicians bowing low to their people in apology for perceived wrongs and shortcomings in the infrastructure of their country.  Even though I can’t imagine anyone could have prepared for the double crisis that their country had endured, instead of blaming others, passing the buck, they took responsibility and said “I’m sorry”.  When was the last time we saw that in our country.

I am amazed and humbled by the incredible strength in their conviction that they will rebuild and that, eventually, although life will have changed, they will come back better and stronger.

Since I firmly believe that life happens for us, not to us, I have to ask, “What am I to learn from this”.  Certainly in Avon, Ohio it has nothing to do with earthquake preparedness or worry about nuclear meltdowns.  Rather, the example of these people challenges me to make sure I am living in such a way that it is obvious that I not only have a spiritual life but that I try to live it.

They call me by their actions to not transfer responsibility for my life to others – the government, my neighbors, anyone else but myself.  If I’m miserable, then I allow myself to be that way.

I hope that I can be strong enough to rebuild my life in the midst of crisis, whatever that might be, to be better than I was before. 

And as I work on all that, I hope that we all might reflect on the debt of gratitude we owe to a people who have suffered so much.  Thank you people of Japan. 

Our Words DO Matter

It would seem obvious to me that the actions of the shooter in Tucson was the action of a deranged young man who had descended into the depths of mental illness.  Although many would like to see a direct causal relationship between the hateful speech in our country right now and his actions, I believe that would be a stretch.  He is simply one sick young man.

However, because this one incident cannot be blamed on our hateful discourse, we should not conclude that our words do not matter.  In fact, the ancestor of almost every action is a word birthed by thought.  Words DO matter.  As William Brennan suggests in his book Dehumanizing the Vulnerable saying words don't matter “negates the impact of name calling and minimizes the relationship between words and deeds.  Disparaging designations may inflict greater damage that physical blows and foster a climate of antagonism leading to the actual breaking of bones and other forms of violence.”

Climate, whether meteorological or social, is created by the convergence of several integrated yet independent factors.  Predictions can be based on watching these factors and relying on a few basic indicators.  I am convinced that the best barometer of “this climate of antagonism” that Brennan alludes to is what we are saying to and about each other in this country.  Based on that essential and telling indicator, I predict a very stormy future.

Some might read this and downplay he insidious nature of our use of words to degrade and objectify.  However, the reality is that even though name calling does not always result in physical violence, it is always an essential component of the type of large scale oppression that shows itself as discrimination, segregation, enslavement or even annihilation.

The destructive power of words is nowhere more evident than in the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C.  Although it is difficult to find any evidence that Adolph Hitler ever personally perpetuated an act of violence against anyone, no one can deny the sadistic power of his words.  What Hitler knew, and what we need to remember, is that a few key designations of degradation, continually intoned, like any persistent slogan, has significant impact. 

Our Role.

We must come to believe how powerful words are so that we stop taking them so lightly.  Words dictate what we think and what we do.  The advertising industry banks on that fact – and they are right.  They understand very well that bytes of information presented consistently over time persuades and compels people to change their behavior.  We have to remember this the next time we hear just a few “slurs” here or a couple of “put-downs” there.  These short sound bytes comprise the commercials for the “isms” that result in violence. 

Each of us has a decision to make of whether or not we will work to change the climate of antagonism in our families, our schools, our workplaces, in our lives.  That decision begins with what we choose to say about one another.  We can either use our words for peace or for violence.  There is no middle ground. 

Now…What were you saying??